Thursday, May 27, 2010

How to be a Pimp Guide

A quick breakdown for all you want to be guides and hacks out there. A short list on how to get your name to the top of your shops guide list...listen close because im only going to say this once so turn down the 50 Cent.

Right off the bat open up a cold beverage, it really cuts the tension at 9am. Then when rigging up rig your rod to be the "pimp stick" and give the clients a very average rig. This makes you look like a pro when you say "watch this."

Make sure you catch a few fish in front of the clients, it helps to reassure that you are the pro and not them. A few encouraging words like GOT ONE, or THERE'S ONE showing off the fish is always a classy act maneuver.

Keep them skunked throughout the morning, around lunch feed them a bunch of beers to get their spirits up, it will make the fish there about to catch super memorable. Note the very dark strong CO micro brew in hand...

Here is where your fifteen minutes of "hard work" starts, get into position, ideally you will find some spawning fish to cast to. This really makes things easy, feed them an egg, the "pimp set up" on your rod, and set the hook, hard, if you miss their mouth at least you have them in the ass.

Let them fight it for a while, wear that thing out.

Beer in one hand, net in the other...totally ready and half in the bag, but still looking like a pro. Note the expensive waders and simms shirt, it brings it all together, who cares if you drunk.

Net that biatch! And get a round of fives from everyone, keep that buzz going.

Let them try to hold it once.

Now you take over...because your a P.I.M.P. and you need to be in charge of da fish. Empty beer gets thrown in waders (as seen here) or on bank to be forgotten about. Now your day is over and its time to fish again. Grab their rod and say let me show you some "advanced techniques"...land another few and accept your tip.


Thanks to Molly, Jeff, and Jessie...I hope you like this as much as I do.

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